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Lily Allen Reveals She Is Pregnant

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! – Mike HTF Express’s his dismay at this shocking news!

So how would someone in the south of Devon go about marrying a pop superstar from London? It’s difficult to get near celebrities and they seem to only ever date other celebrities.. especially when they spend most their time in the countries capital and you’re in a rural county over 300 miles away.

Firstly you help out with a music magazine. Start with writing reviews of gigs and albums. Next, move on to interviewing local bands in local venues then move on to more famous bands in bigger locations and watch the website grow. As the interviews improve you can interview bigger celebrities, working your way through artists who are high in the charts. Finally secure an interview Lily Allen and make a good first impression – she will remember you. Add Lily on Facebook and chat to her, remind her you were the one from ‘that magazine who made her laugh’ and eventually this could lead to a date. It doesn’t matter than she’s currently dating some guy called Sam Cooper because she’s a free spirit and will soon break up with him. Oh you’ve just found out she’s pregnant? Damn… well that was a waste of time then!

I quit 🙁

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