For men, this is one of the world’s biggest mysteries… why is it that girls go to the toilet together? Well, I’ll have you know that there are PLENTY of reasons why we do, for reasons that men won’t and can’t understand. Finally, I can now explain these reasons, so for all men and women reading, you’re in for one hell of a learning curve.
So, lets start with the whole girls being drunk and going to the loo’s in their millions. Take one look in your local dodgy nightclub on a Saturday night and you may well be scared for life. When a girl is drunk, all emotions come into the picture, whether it be tears, hugs, anger and even sexual tension… what ever emotion you feel, this will be portrayed in a female toilet.
Of course, toilet cubicle’s are tiny at the best of time, so how do five girls fit in one I hear you ask? Well, that’s a whole different story itself. Us girls like to have a bit of a gossip in the toilet away from all the hustle and bustle. Saw that cute lad at the bar? We have that covered. See that other guy trying to grind us with an awkwardly huge boner? Yes, it happens and we need someone safe to go hide out.
When our drunk, emotional self comes out, we don’t want the whole world seeing. I feel I can say on behalf of the worlds females that when I say a majority of us have had a cry on our best friends shoulders over some mean ass guy at some point whilst stupidly drunk. Why this happens, I can’t even tell you that answer to that. Some things are for the female ears ONLY.
Not only do we have to ensure our gossip is on point, we also have to make sure our make up is on point. We don’t want to look like Shrek when a potential male could be wandering around the dance floor, bar, wherever we may be. All the more, we need our girls to make sure we don’t look revolting with lipstick on teeth, eye liner all down your face and so forth – it’s not a good look. After all, it’s hoes before bro’s every time.
Not only does this happen, but you will ALWAYS find a new best friend in the toilet. Whether you’re as talkative as someone like me or shy as a fly, you are always guaranteed to find a toilet best friend. They always end up being one of two things: a potential best friend for life OR that one girl you remember five years ago who gave you an inspirational talk about your future and how you “don’t need no man to please yoself.” If you haven’t managed to find a best friend from the toilet yet, WHY THE HECK NOT? They are the best things ever.
Not only this, but if you’re running out of eye liner, blusher or that matt lipstick in shade Ruby Woo, the toilet is the place to go. Yes, I hear you say, “eww sharing make up is so grim,” but at times it can be a life saver. You see that hunky fella at the bar that you’re giving the wink eye too? Yeah, some of us need to impress and make sure our brows, cheeks and lips are on point. PASS US THAT CONTOUR KIT PLEASE!
For all of those girls that are into the whole gig, rave, festival scene, toilet friends are always in need in places like these. No matter where you go, there will ALWAYS be toilets that have broken locks, horrific period stains on toilet seats and even the pretty grim condom wrapper in the corner. WHY DOES THIS STILL HAPPEN?
In dire times like this, we need female company to find the most luxurious toilet around and if all else fails, hold the door shut when the locks broken. Who knew it would be the hardest thing ever to squat on the edge of a toilet whilst holding closed a broken door? At least it can be good for getting your legs in shape, but to have someone help out with holding the toilet door shut and supplying hand gel and toilet roll, what more could you want?
So this is all you need to know about girls and why they feel the need to go toilet in their hundreds. There may be many more unkempt secrets but that my friends, is for the female ears only!