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If You Don’t Charge Your Phone Charli XCX & Her Phone Police Will F**K You Up!

Charli XCX has revealed her brand new video ‘Famous’ so we thought we would take a more in-depth look into it’s very meaningful storyline.

OK, let’s set the scene. Girl is in her room and she’s clearly obsessed with Charli XCX. There seems to be a lot of duplicate posters. Does Charli only have a small poster selection to choose from or does this girl maybe own a colour photocopier and just got a little trigger happy with the button? Anyways, we are getting off track here.

She loves a good selfie. Honestly, I have never seen a girl look so happy on her own taking photos of herself. What has got her in such a good mood? Maybe she’s got ADHD or just on some mad sugar rush.  Either way, she’s un-naturally happy.

No one is that happy on their own. She must be on drugs.

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Hold the f**king phone here. Is that a Beyonce line? You’re that big a Charli XCX fan and you’re about to sell her out and post that? Why not “I’m So Fancy?” And wait, does that logo in the corner say Match? Are you taking selfies and randomly leaving status’ on This girls off her face!

Looks like the Charli XCX video she is watching on her phone is Emoji-tastic! She is literally excreting smiley faces.

Damn, things just got real! The battery has died. This does bring up a few questions though; how many selfies does one person need to take to run down an entire iPhone battery? Why did she not plug it in earlier when the phone said it was at 10% charge like everyone else does? Did she feel like she would just ignore it and the battery would charge itself? I swear this girl needs serious medical help.

Oh f**king hell, now the battery police are here. Rumour has it that his padlock necklace has enough charge to recharge an Iphone 6 over seven times. Never been tested though.

Looks like her mum is pissed at her lack of battery charging skills as well…and rightfully so!

“I’m Sorry! I’m Sorry! I left the cable at Jason’s house and he’s gone on holiday. Please don’t tell Vodaphone!”

PLOT TWIST!! Girls got a fully charged iPad. It’s game on once again and the battery police vanish. Let’s hope she’s got this one fully charged for Christs sake!

Back to jumping around the room like a deranged lunatic. No one is this happy!


The battery police and pissed! This isn’t going to end well. No excuse is going to get you out of this one. This is just pure laziness. Who has 2 apple products on low charge hanging around. YOU MAD BRUV?

Sucked under the bed! Maybe those dirty pants that have been under there for about 6 months might make you charge your shit in future. DIRTY PANT BITCH SLAP!

Down at battery police HQ it looks like they have finally given her a charger and they continue to mock her by taking the piss out of her shitty dance moves.

They have even gone as far as employing a couple of people to take the piss out of her selfie habit. “Oh look at me posing for my fwends on! I’m such a dickhead!”

These girls are really rubbing it in: “Look at us with our fully charged batteries. I just messaged you on Viber. What? You didn’t get it? What a shame. Loser!”

Oh, Charli’s back and she’s had a make-over. She’s glued Rice Krispies to her face and rubbed Marmite into her teeth.

The girls are rubbing in their fully charged phones even more now by showing how they can charge Charli’s appearance by looking through the camera.


Battery fail girl has now found a door to something but is now forced to watch two 23 second adverts before she can open it. She’s quite annoyed by this. Not liking Charli XCX as much now are we sunshine?

Inside the door is the king of selfies himself, GIANT SELFIE BEAST MAN with the power to take eight selfies at once. By the looks of it though, he’s tied down to that yoga ball so I wouldn’t expect much variety in his photos. He’s going to be boring as hell to follow on Instagram.

Holy shit! Turns out his belly button is actually a power supply. Looks quite raw around the edges though. Maybe it’s only just been installed?


*Plug Sound*


“Ah shit! It’s the wrong bloody voltage!”

Now she’s died. Well, serves her right really. Only an idiot trusts a plug socket in a huge bold guys stomach. What the hell was she thinking?!?

She is now online for everyone to laugh at and to act as a constant reminder to always charge your phone and never take drugs.


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