Connect with us

Hi, what are you looking for?

Features

8 People/Things We Think Should Take Zayn’s Place In One Direction!

With Zayn Malik’s abrupt departure from One Direction, we’ve come up with a few replacement ideas. Check out our list here.

Source: Official Promo

When One Direction announced Zayn Malik was officially parting ways with the band after nearly 5 years, we started thinking about possible replacements. We can now announce the 8 acts we’ve decided on, so, Simon Cowell, the ball is in your court…

Source: Single Artwork

Source: Single Artwork

8. Darius

If you really think about it, Darius Danesh and Zayn Malik have a lot in common. One Direction came third on X Factor in 2010 and Darius came third too on Pop Idol back in 2002. Both singers went on have hugely successful pop careers despite losing (okay Darius not so much…but remember Colourblind? TUUUNE!) He might not have made it quite as far as 1D but it’s fair to say that Darius has had his fair share of experience in writing soppy love songs. Plus, with that dark hair and big brown eyes just like Zayn, would anyone even notice the difference?!

[divider]

Source: Kayla Elliot

7. Andy Biersack

Since cutting his hair Zayn has been compared to Andy Biersack of Black Veil Brides a lot, and their clothing choices of late haven’t been too dissimilar. Just think about it, would anyone even notice if Andy just took his place, apart from the fact that his vocals might end up 2 octaves lower? Maybe this would make the music even better!

[divider]

Source: ITV

6. The Body

As one of the most mysterious figures on British Television at the moment, The Body, as featured on ITV gameshow ‘The Cube’, is the perfect replacement for Mr MalikZayn was always a bit mysterious so The Body will bring that back to the band along with her amazing ability to perform pointless tasks such as bouncing a ball into a jar at a distance of 3 metres. Having no voice, it will also mean she will be continually ‘note perfect’ at all times. It also means the chances of Philip Schofield attending the shows will rise by nearly 75%.

[divider]

Source: BBC

5. Solomon Akhtar

If you watched series 10 of The Apprentice, you’ll remember cheeky chappy Solomon Akhtar. He is basically Zayn Malik’s more intellectual, suited and booted brother from another mother. They both have very similar haircuts and they’re the same age – it’s perfect! Having a business head in the band wouldn’t be such a bad idea either. He could create and market their brand new Zayn-less merchandise that they so desperately need and keep control of their finances. We’re not sure whether Solomon can actually sing but that’s what auto tune is for!

[divider]

Source: Rhian Westbury

4. Jono Yates

Who can deny that it would be great to have a 1D fan join the band? Jono Yates from Cheshire’s Blitz Kids (See, he already has something in common with Harry) has attended at least one of the bands Manchester shows and would probably know enough to slot himself into the band no problem. And with his party attitude I’m sure he’d be up for bonding with the guys at the Funky Buddha!

[divider]

Source: Sexy Eggs via Compfight cc

3. A Boiled Egg

Nothing screams ‘Boy Band’ material than the shelled period of a chicken. A boiled egg will always provide a cracking replacement for any member of 1D and will ensure everything goes egg-xactly to plan every night of tour. The added knowledge that if it, like Zayn, cracks under the pressure, it good to know the insides will always be secure due to its boiled nature.

[divider]

Source: Official Promo

2. Corey Taylor

Let’s truly bring some diversity to the lives of the Directioners. Some of them probably claim to be rock fans since 5 Seconds Of Summer toured with One Direction; but what would happen if we introduced something a little heavier? Let’s face it, Slipknot frontman Corey Taylor could definitely keep up with the melodic talents in the band, along with bringing a darker side to the table with those deep screamed vocals Slipknot famed him for. And yes, we’d leave him in the mask, we just want to see the reactions.

[divider]

Source: Promotional Poster

1. Moby Dick

What One Direction needs to get back in the game after this loss, is a whale. A massive, ship sinking whale. And who more suiting to fit the bill than Moby Dick. With his incredible ability to eat tons of plankton at any one time, he will be the instant star of the show. He can also help promote Whales Rights and help free all his trapped friends at Sea World (Bastards!) bringing the group a charitable edge. The addition of “at least 100 square miles of sea water” added to their rider each show will also be a talking point. Everyone will have a whale of a time.

Contributions from: Kayla Elliot, Claire Rollins, Chris Hines

You May Also Like

Electronic

Is Marshmello and an EDM God or more of a cult leader? Let's find out!

Reviews

We went along to Simple Creatures' first ever UK show and weren't disappointed!

Music

Is the treasure still to be found, or already dug up?