For some people, Valentine’s Day is the most romantic day of the year. For the rest of us cynics, it’s just another excuse for supermarkets to bombard us with overpriced flowers and chocolates until we give in and waste our hard-earned money, and to make us feel bad about ourselves if we don’t have plans. But don’t worry – you don’t need plans for Valentine’s Day when you have our awesome anti-Valentine’s Day playlist!
Taking Back Sunday – MakeDamnSure
Everyone has been through it: you’re in a relationship, everything is fine and dandy at first but then things just start to… fall apart. When you eventually realise it doesn’t work you’re left with two choices – you can either shake hands and go your separate ways, or you can take the Taking Back Sunday route and use resentment, mind games and control to get your way and come out of the wreckage a winner. Your choice.
Anti-Valentine’s lyric: “I just wanna break you down so badly / In the worst way”
Reel Big Fish – Another F.U. Song
Reel Big Fish are the masters of wrapping hateful lyrics up in a fun ska-punk package, and ‘Another F.U. Song’ is the perfect example. We’re not sure if the word ‘fuck’ has been furiously spat out so many times in one minute, especially on Valentine’s Day – maybe this year we can set a new record?
Anti-Valentine’s lyric: “Fuck everyone, but fuck you the most / With a big rusty pole or a splintery post”
SR-71 – Right Now
‘Right Now’ is all about being with someone who, in the end, you basically end up hating. They’re clingy, mean, crude and a liar – but, hey, the sex is great. Okay, so they’re not PERFECT, but they’ll do for now. What beautiful Valentine’s Day sentiment…
Anti-Valentine’s lyric: “So what if the sex was great? / Just a temporary escape”
Mayday Parade – A Shot Across the Bow
We all know Mayday Parade are romantics at heart, but even they get pissed off with love occasionally. ‘A Shot Across the Bow’ shows the subject getting pretty annoyed about being dumped by their other half and, instead of crying about it, they just fantasise about their ex drowning in the ocean. That’s one way to handle a break up…
Anti-Valentine’s lyric: “I hope you fall into the ocean and the current leaves you helpless, swimming around / As the waves crash over you until you drown, and float away”
Puddle of Mudd – She Hates Me
The message of the song is pretty clear, isn’t it? She fucking hates you. She thinks you’re a dick. She doesn’t even know why she dated you in the first place, and now she won’t even look in your direction unless it’s to spit in your eye. A pure river of hatred runs right through this classic Puddle of Mudd track, which makes it the perfect antidote for all the sickening Valentine’s Day sentimentality.
Anti-Valentine’s lyric: “She tore my feelings like I had none / She fucking hates me”
You Me At Six – You’ve Made Your Bed
‘You’ve Made Your Bed’ is a little softer than some of the previous tracks. It deals with emotion, heartbreak and betrayal in the worst possible way, which might make you think it’s too soppy to be ‘anti-Valentine’s Day’. However, it redeems itself by basically sticking its middle finger up to the cheating girlfriend, with the crushed boyfriend walking away and knowing that she won’t ever get someone as good as him. Considering the person behind the lyrics is Josh Franceschi, it’s a pretty safe bet that she won’t!
Anti-Valentine’s lyric: “You’ve made your bed, so sleep with him / But know I’m the best you’ll get”
A Day To Remember – Since U Been Gone
Alright, so you might know the original Kelly Clarkson version better, but for the purposes of this playlist, A Day To Remember definitely give the song that real angsty push that Kelly never quite managed. While ADTR seem a bit too pissed off to convince us that they’re ENITRELY happy that the ex is out of their lives, but it’s still a great track to listen to this Valentine’s Day, especially if you’re trying to get over a certain someone!
Anti-Valentine’s lyric: “But since you been gone, I can breathe for the first time / I’m so moving on, yeah, yeah / Thanks to you, now I get what I want”
blink-182 – The Party Song
As with most blink-182 tracks, ‘The Party Song’ is about being young, drunk and stupid. It tells the story of a character who is disappointed by the fake tits and douchebag guys he encounters at a college party and realises he’d rather ditch the party and hang out at home watching the telly and masturbating. Correct us if we’re wrong, but we’re pretty sure there’s nothing romantic about that.
Anti-Valentine’s lyric: “I wish I’d have stayed in my bed back at home watching TV alone / Where I’d put on some porn, or have sex on the phone”
Sleeping With Sirens – If You Can’t Hang
Have Sleeping With Sirens ever released anything that is pro-Valentine’s Day?! Pretty much any of their songs would go against the slushy hearts-and-flowers romanticism of the holiday, but ‘If You Can’t Hang‘ is one of their first, and best, post-break up songs. It’s great to scream at the top of your lungs when thinking back over the time you’ve wasted on past relationships, which is probably what a lot of us will be doing this Valentine’s Day (let’s be honest!).
Anti-Valentine’s lyric: “I hope he takes your filthy heart / And then he throws you away someday”
The All-American Rejects – Beekeeper’s Daughter
Of course, ‘Gives You Hell’ is the ultimate ‘screw you, you idiot’ track, but we can all agree it’s been done. Instead, we’re opting for ‘Beekeeper’s Daughter’, which is just another The All-American Rejects track that has a pretty harsh message wrapped in a sweet pop-rock melody. This time, Tyson Ritter sings about stringing a girl along as he goes out and has sex with a multitude of women, because he knows his reliable back-up will always be there waiting for him. It turns its nose up to love, commitment and respect – you can’t get much more anti-Valentine’s Day than that!
Anti-Valentine’s lyric: “You’re all alone but you understand that we’re too young to start making plans, agreed? / Monogamy’s not a part of me”