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Fearless Vampire Killers Tour Diary: Days 3 & 4 – Carpentry and Super Soakers!

Fearless Vampire Killers are out on tour at the moment with William Control and HTF have exclusive access to all the weird and wonderful details. Here what they got up to on days 3 & 4!

Those crazy fools in Fearless Vampire Killers have given Hit The Floor exclusive access to all the intimate details of their current UK tour with William Control. Drummer Luke Illingworth will be filling us in on all the highs, lows and damn right strange so sit back, relax, grab a cuppa and enjoy! It’s gonna get a bit mental!

Check out more from Fearless Vampire Killers right here –

Day 3

We needed to make some modifications to the Van from speed holes to a flux capacitor to go back in time and stop Kier getting his arse out on a mountain, but most importantly we needed to lower the shelf in the back so we could get my blinking Bass drum in. “THIS SOUNDS LIKE A JOB FOR DREW AND BARRONE!!!” I announced heartily from my pew watching sweet sixteen on MTV. Assisted by our Tour Manager Dave they set to work and by jingo did they do a sterling job! I’m talking the kind of carpentry that Jesus’ own foster parent would be proud of. After we had given them their well done stickers we headed to Leeds.

I don’t know if it was due to fact we got there a bit early, the slightly lowered shelf or maybe we’re just getting good at it but we had unloaded and set up in record time – singing Disney tunes might of assisted! In fact we finished so quickly that we had time for a pint of booze with the Obscure Pleasures boys and we knew just the place to go to, Fibre, a local gay bar where we would have the first many drinks on the night of mayhem.

Arriving back at the venue we found our friends and lovers AshestoAngels in our dressing room, it was Nico’s birthday so celebrations where to be had and boy where they.

The show was insanely brilliant, it was the best we had played in a long time and the crowd was incredible.
I would to offer a word of advice, NEVER drink wine when you’re thirsty because you’ll end up neck the whole bottle in 10 seconds. Tonight, however, was “wankered bassist” night with Nico (AshestoAngels) and Ryan (Obscure Pleasures) showing us all how it’s done. I missed a fair bit of the night as I was busy mining for gold, it was hard graft but I stuck at it and got there in the end. After the show ended and we loaded up the van, we continued the party at a place Mojo’s with Will Control and AshestoAngels. With a few more cocktails inside us we had a who can take a hit to belly with shoe the best competition, I don’t know who won but Keef (Wills Drummer) definitely dished out the best hits, the noise was echoing through the bar making the walls shake and our glasses tremble, mind you he is a professional hitter.

Day 4

Nothing beats a hangover like a Full English and we’re lucky enough to be in the best café on the planet as voted for by the people of Warrington, so we’re talking crème de la crème! It was alright. I would have liked more distance between the eggs and beans. I might want to mix them but I want it to be my decision. Use a sausage as a break water, overall 7 on 10 (let’s make love).

Back in Wales again but this time the north of it, Wrexham. We was so eager to get there that our front tire exploded causing the van to do a complete somersault and land on the brink of a cliff edge. After balancing there for a few minutes, gravity beat us and we fell off the side of the cliff and into the sea! There we drifted away to a deserted island where we had to eat our Tour Manager just to stay alive.

Only joking I think we just reversed over a broken bottle or something, but we just bought a new one, pssh!!!

This was one of my favourite venues, as they fed us proper dinners, I had Spag Bol, Drew and Kier had Cajun Chicken and Laurence and Barrone had some vegetarian bollocks and they went down a treat.

Laurence bought a super soaker tornado strike from tkmax and with Barrone, spent half the afternoon hunting drew, through the wild back streets of Wrexham.

After we played Kier and I were chillin’ by the merch desk, just shooting some hoops. When Kier brought his hand up violently for some reason, knocking my beer out of my hand, everything had gone in slow motion ‘NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!’ I shouted, but it was too late I was everywhere, but weirdly the bottle was completely unharmed. Then entered the most moody woman a have ever met. She had a face like a slapped arse and medusa eyes, and there she stood, huffing and puffing while she begrudgingly mopped up the mess. What was worse was that I was already in her bad books as earlier in the day I had inadvertently burnt the end of her nose with my hair straighteners when I snapped them in her face after she told me off for going behind the bar, now that I think about it she had every right to hate me.

We had a good ol’ fashioned sing song on the way home to The Used, Lovely stuff.

Bristol we’re coming for ya.

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