We’ve all been there; innocently singing along to one our favourite pop songs when someone says “you do know what this song is really about, don’t you?” Let’s be honest, 99% of the time, no, we totally hadn’t realised that these fun, innocent-sounding songs were actually full to the brim with disgusting innuendos. The horror!
One of the most recent culprits is Ariana Grande‘s and Nicki Minaj‘s ‘Side to Side’. As Ariana sings “I’ve been here all night, I’ve been here all day and boy, got me walkin’ side to side” and Minaj talks about riding “dick bicycles” there’s not really any room left for doubt about what this song is about.
The pop world is FULL of innuendo-filled songs and we’ve dug out some of the best. Apologies in advance, as we may be about to ruin a part of your childhood with this list.
Los Del Rio – La Macarena
As soon as the first few bars of this iconic pop song begins, it’s pretty much impossible to stop yourself from jumping up and throwing out those classic dance moves. But have you ever stopped to actually listen to the lyrics? It is essentially a story of a woman on a night out trying to pick up a man. “Move with me, chant with me, and if your good I’ll take you home with me”. But that’s not all! In the second verse she says “don’t you worry about my boyfriend…now come on, what was I supposed to do? He was out of town and his two friends were sooo fine.” OMG, plot twiiiiist! The scandal is so very real. Slag!
B*Witched – C’est La Vie
Here we have another 90’s hit with more memorable dance moves, but don’t let that distract you from what’s really going here. “I got a house with windows and doors, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours” is quite clearly their version of “do you want to come in for a coffee?”. She then insists “gotta let me in…let the fun begin hey. I’m the wolf today…I’ll huff I’ll puff I’ll blow you away” – disguising their sordid fantasies with a nursery rhyme! Sick.
Christina Aguilera – Genie In A Bottle
Admit it, when this song was first released you thought it was literally about magic and genies. Don’t worry, so did we. But no, now we all know it’s really about something much, much ruder! “I’m a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way” says it all, really. That, and “you gotta make a big impression, gotta like what you do” So demanding, Christina!
Backstreet Boys – Get Down
Believe it or not, the 90’s haircuts are not the most disturbing thing about this song. The lyrics “get down, move it all around” could simply be dance instructions from the boys, but when you listen a little closer and hear them sing “I want your lovin’ and I want it right now”, it takes on a whole different meaning!
One Direction – No Control
Bloody boy bands, they just can’t be trusted! We aren’t angry, just disappointed. The boys sing “Waking up, beside you I’m a loaded gun” and there really is only one thing that could be alluding to. Gross. Just, gross. Control yourselves, boys!
Spice Girls – 2 Become 1
Let’s be honest, girl bands aren’t much better at this innuendo thing either. Thought ‘2 Become 1’ was about two people becoming a couple? Think again. The chorus couldn’t make it much more obvious, as they sing “I need some love like I never needed love before. (Wanna make love to ya baby). I had a little love, now I’m back for more.” Cheeky!
Flo Rida – Whistle
That feeling when you’re listening to a fun r’n’b track and then realise it’s actually about oral sex. Awkward. That’s right, Flo Rida is asking girls to “blow his whistle, baby”. All you have to do is “put your lips together and you come real close” – thanks for the offer, but we’d rather not. He’s even included whistle sound effects to try to detract from the song’s real meaning. We’re on to you, Flo!
The Presidents of the United States of America – Peaches
At first, this appears to be a lovely little song about moving to the country and eating a whole load of peaches. However, if you look closer at the lyrics, the peaches mentioned are definitely an innuendo for something else: “Squished a rotten peach in my fist and dreamed about you, woman, I poked my finger down inside.” Not such a cute song after all, is it?!
Rihanna – Kiss It Better
Rihanna isn’t exactly known for being shy when it comes to her lyrics (‘Sex With Me’, anyone?) but we think ‘Kiss It Better’ is slightly more subtle than some of her previous releases. Lyrics such as “boy you know that you always do it right” and “do what you gotta do, keep me up all night” don’t leave a lot to the imagination, though.
R Kelly – Ignition
There’s no denying that this song will always be one of the biggest pop bangers around, however it is basically just four minutes of R-Kelly comparing having sex with a woman to driving his beloved car: “I’m bout to take my key and stick it in the ignition.” Romance is not dead, ladies and gentlemen.