If there’s one thing Tool fans love almost as much as the band themselves, it’s complaining about how long it seems to be taking said band to produce a new record. Recent teasing by various members via the internet hasn’t helped matters any, and more than a few fans will have given up on ever hearing Maynard James Keenan, Danny Carey, Adam Jones and Justin Chancellor release any new stuff.
So we got to thinking, what kind of things have happened since they released their last album 10,000 Days way, way back in May 2006?
1. Twitter. All of it.
Okay, so although Twitter was technically created in March ’06, it wasn’t launched until July the same year. Meaning that since Tool last blessed us with music, an entire social media platform that has changed the way people, bands and businesses communicate with one another has blossomed. The four piece would therefore never have had to put up with hashtags like #stillwaiting and #getonwithitMaynard
2. The rise and fall of Justin Bieber
The (almost) universally hated pop twat has both rocketed to stardom and fallen from grace in the time it’s taken Tool to put out anything new. Back in ’06 the Canadian teen was still a year away from catching his big break after being discovered from his YouTube videos, and the world was a better place for it.
3. A whole console generation
Okay, Microsoft’s Xbox 360 was available from 2005, but the Sony Ps3 wasn’t, so realistically we are looking at an entire generation of games and games consoles having come and gone in the time between 10,000 Days and now. That’s hundreds of thousands of hours of headshots, teabagging, swearing into your headsets and earning those sweet, sweet achievements been and gone.
What? What do you mean ‘What about the Nintendo Wii’? Fuck you.
4. The ENTIRE Marvel Cinematic Universe, Breaking Bad, Game Of Thrones …
Back in 2006, the cheeky chap above was a relative unknown, save to fans of niche comedy drama The Station Agent. Superhero movies weren’t the cultural juggernaut/definite cash cow they are today (Batman Begins came out in 2005, but we were still a world away from the start of the Marvel bandwagon with 2008’s Iron Man). TV sets were bereft of such seminal masterpieces as The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad and Game Of Thrones. From what we can recall, people just sat around watching the endless repeats of The Simpsons.
5. America elected their first black president
In a huge move for racial equality, the good old U S of A voted for Barack Obama to become the first black president in their history in 2008. He was re-elected for his second term in 2012, defeating universal douchebag Mitt Romney, and has stirred things up with his ‘Obamacare’ legislation, his support for marriage equality and his administration’s role in the death of Osama Bin Laden.
6. The Nope-ocalypse
It seems like someone predicts the ‘end of the world’ every few years, but back in 2012 the ‘end’ of the Mayan Long Count calendar sparked a fresh wave of paranoia and uncertainty surrounding the planets’ continued existence. No matter how many times it was explained that it was simply the end of the calendar and it was all based on how the Mayans counting system worked, people still wanted to be scared. Tool would have just shrugged it off and headed down to Arizona Bay.
7. Chinese Democracy came out
Guns N’ Roses fans had waited seventeen years for their sixth studio album to be released, and it had become a byword for something that would probably never happen. While it wasn’t warmly received by anyone (just look at Axl Rose nowadays, could he produce anything of any value?) it’s a stark message for Tool – if that greasy palooka can deliver the long-awaited goods,WHY CAN’T YOU?!
