Glastonbury Festival is finally here and I bet all you newbies have no idea what to expect. Have you packed all the essentials: tent, water, alcohol, suncream and wellies? Yep, you read that right; you need both suncream and wellies!
So for someone like me, whose experienced the festival every year for the past five years, it’s exciting when you meet first-timers. It’s always when you’re stood in a crowd, likely covered in mud with a warm cider in your hand, when you’ll bump into someone that can’t comprehend the sheer size of Glastonbury. After the initial introductions of where you are all from, the “who has the bigger Glastonbury dick game” comes out to play. It’s a thing that us experienced-goers like to do to warrant the amount of money and time we’ve spent at the festival for all those years. It’s likely, as a first-timer, you’ll be amazed that this person you’re talking to has seen so much and you’ll feel helpless to their experiences. Well, we’ve got you guys.
Instead of talking to a pissed guy, who’s ironically called Alan, we’re going to give the tools to experience the parts of Glastonbury the BBC leaves out of their programming.
Listed on the map on the South-East corner, Shangri-La is an area that everyone quickly discovers. Once the final artist on the Pyramid stage stops, people from all over the festival bottlenecks into this one area. With a theme, that’s usually anti-establishment, Shangri-La hosts some of the music’s most prestigious acts on either The Hell / Heaven Stage or on another small stage which you might accidentally find. When you arrive, also look for the unexpected; every door leads to somewhere weird and new.
Also, in this area, you can find Block 9, the Temple, and The Unfair Ground – make sure you visit these places too!
The Rabbit Hole
Missed by so many, The Rabbit Hole has become an infamous area for so many festival-goers. Situated at the top of the area known as The Park, keep your eyes peeled for any carrots or bunny related decoration on the right of the multi-coloured tower (in front of the Glastonbury sign). To the few who have made it inside they tell stories of live music that gets you bouncing, but you’ll have to find out yourself. The entrance to the tunnels opens in the evening, but it’s never actually stated at what time it begins. If you find it, you’ll have one up on a lot of experienced festival-goers.
The Underground Piano Bar
We promise you this area is not a myth. Unknown to many, The Underground Piano Bar is said to be Michael Eavis’ favourite part of the festival. This secret area can only hold up to 30 people and is not on any official map and has no clear signposts, but rumour has it that if you walk to the top left-hand side of the Stone Circle, there’s a small path between the trees. Follow this road, and you’ll be approached by a gate keeper who will only let you in after you answer a riddle. Only a few people have stepped forth into this legendary area though, so finding it is going to be challenging.
A lot easier to find than The Underground Piano Bar, The Wood is a relatively new addition to the festival after being recently added in 2016. Located in the North-West in between the John Peel Stage and the Pyramid Stage, The Wood is a peaceful place that’s perfect to visit for a drink in between acts from the surrounding stages.
Also, because very few people know about it at the moment, it serves as a pretty rapid shortcut and eliminates a lot of queuing. Just a handy tip.
The Stone Dragon
When somebody mentions seeing a dragon at Glastonbury, it’s either your parents making a feeble joke or someone off their twat. What we’re talking about is a secret stone water feature that’s carved into a dragon. In a similar area near The Underground Piano Bar, the Stone Dragon lies in the trees in the Dragon Field. Just have a look around or ask a local camper and you should be able to find it.
Well, hope this helped and hasn’t added to your ever-growing fomo. Just remember to drink plenty of water otherwise, you’re going to feel absolutely rough in your tent.
If you’re wondering what the toilets are like, well this will give you an idea.