I’m not someone who gets ill a lot. I mean I’d goto the point where I’d say I’ve become pretty immune to most stuff that goes around and I even managed to battle swine flu last year in under 48 hours. This being said, from time to time an illness will come along that is soo hardcore it will just destroy me leaving me battered to the point where I wan’t to give up on life. On sunday this illness struck!
So I thought what good could possibly come from me having a virus? This is my idea… I thought I’d let you all know how I was getting on, because I hope you would care or at least could laugh at my misfortune, but to keep with the theme of HTF sum up each day with music!
Follow my progress below and feel free to write any home remedies in the comments because I will try anything if it makes this thing go away!!!!
Please Note: This may contain periods of ranting and obscene language
Thursday – September 23rd
Woke up at 6am with the usual head pound which I’m obviously loving more and more, and now, I’m entering the world of extremly runny nose, which is quite frankly horrible. Don’t think I’ve ever got through so much toilet paper. It’s almost like water. I bet your loving reading that while eating your breakfast. Tried to make another doctors appointment but they got nothing until tomorrow which is always useful or I can go sit over the hospital walk-in centre for 3 hours and wait. Tomorrow it is!
I’m gonna pick two songs for the day so far. To represent the head pain I’m going with Paramore – Pressure and for the runny nose I think it has to be Snot – Stupid. Kinda speaks for itself.
Wednesday – September 22nd
Still ill!! FFS!!! Got slightly more sleep that previous days, and no massive sweats thank god, but still woke up with a pounding head. Will this torture ever end!!!
Today’s first song is Michael Jackson’s ‘Leave Me Alone’ because I wish the virus would leave me alone and just FUCK OFF!!
10:56 – Ok so I’ve decided ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. I’m going to try and mass drink water today until I either piss or sweat this fucker out! I also heard a story that eating a hot curry under a sheet works well because you will sweat your ass off so if there is a curry about then I’m doing that as well!
VIRUS….. THIS IS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!!!!!!
19:40 – Well I’ve managed to go since mid day without taking pain killers which is a good sign, although my stomach does now feel a bit weird which is probably due to drinking too much. Typical! Zoe HTF popped round some goodies which have helped and I do actually feel a bit better than this morning, although walking around is still an issue, so lets hope tomorrow can bring an even bigger improvement. Let’s sum this update with M People – Moving On Up…
Tuesday – September 21st
The doctor yesterday told me I’d start getting better today. Not happening! Same old day of popping pills and now been sleeping on the sofa for 3 days. Getting pretty annoying knowing I can’t hardly even stand up with out getting dizzy and potentially killing myself. Couple of songs popped up on TV that I thought were definitely worth one chucking in here. Was watching ‘Don’t Forget The Lyrics’ and they had Gloria Gaynor on as a guest singing ‘I Will Survive’. Thought that was a good bit of inspiration to get well so that’s my first pick of the day…
Later in the day, the rents were back from their Holiday so sorted me out with more water, cheese on toast and made it so I could actually sleep in my bed for once. I tried to find a song about parents but this is the nearest I could find and to be honest I burst out laughing when I heard it because it’s so god damn awful. Had to be shared with the world. It also has ‘Thank You Parents” as the first three words of the title so works well. I especially love they use a knot and a chain to symbolise strength.
Thank You – Parents Club Theme Song
Monday – September 20th
Well after the success of Sunday I was pleased to find out that Monday was going to be pretty much the same but with extra period of full body sweating! I mean at least my body was trying to battle the virus, but when your t-shirt is so stuck to your body you can barely take it off it kinda makes you wish it could find a nicer alternatives. I shouldn’t complain though.. GO BODY KILL THE SHIT!!!!! Basically a day of lying in the dark, in silence, in pain… brilliant!
So for first song of the day i’ve picked this cracker as some of the lyrics defiantly sum up my sweat fest!
“Girl I’m going to make you sweat, sweat till you can’t sweat no more”
In fact that’s the only line in this entire song that means anything and I’m not even a girl.
Actually while we are on the subject of this song, I’m 99% sure this song is about violent anal sex. Mentions of looking at your brown eye and if you cry he’s gonna push it some more. Sounds pretty out of order. Make your own mind up. My day definitely didn’t consist of any of that.
Inner Circle – Sweat (A La La Long)
So the day continued pretty much the same. In the evening Good old nan popped round to help with the cleaning and load me up with hardcore painkillers, went to the doctor who was pretty much useless and just said keep doing what I’m doing, and in the evening Mike HTF and Mary came round to cheer me up and make me well with strawberry laces and frazzles, a well known cure for most virus’s . We pretty much watched the Inbetweeners and then I went into one of my pain coma’s and basically left them to chat between themselfs resulting in the photo I used for the header and this picture of Mike trying to grab Mary’s breast. At least they had fun!
Pretty much didn’t get any sleep again so I think this represents the night prefectly..
Faithless – Insomnia
Sunday – September 19th
For the past week I had been getting Migraines, feeling a bit down, but still managed to get on with life without too much trouble. Sunday however changed all of this. Sunday morning woke up basically feeling like I was getting repeatedly kicked in the head and my energy levels were so low I couldn’t even get out of bed to make it to the sofa downstairs for over 5 hours. Luckily I had my amazing girlfriend Clair to help me but overall this turned out to be one of the most hellish days of my life and ended up with no sleep and just wanting to die. Overall I’d say the day was a roaring success for the virus. Well done…. YOU SHIT!!!
So for sunday my musical choice would definitely have to be Cannibal Corpese – Hammer Smashed Face. I feel this defiantly sums up this ‘amazing’ day of pain! Thanks virus!
