I don’t like eggs. The idea of them scares me, they look weird and I don’t trust anything that comes out of a chicken. In fact, before we start, here is a story for you…
When I was little I actually loved egg. One week my mum gave me egg and soldiers and I liked it. The next day, the same again and I was happy. This happened again and again for almost a week, well it seemed like that, until it got to the point where I had reached my egg limit. I refused to eat it and my mum kicked off and said I had to eat my dinner. I replied ‘Mum, I am never eating egg ever again!’ and from that day I haven’t. Well except in cakes and stuff like that. On its own, no! Over the years I learnt to hate egg even more. At one point I started a band, for a week or so, with a friend who was allergic to eggs. We called ourselves Anti-Egg!
So yeh, I don’t like eggs! As I was sat in bed tonight I thought to myself “What if one day I need to boil an egg for someone? I hate them so much! I’d need something to distract my hate!”. I thought the best bet was music. As a boiled egg takes three and a half minutes to boil I thought I would source songs that are ‘eggsactly’, or near enough, that length. That way the job gets done perfectly and the song will finish along with my ordeal.
Let’s crack on!
Note: These songs say 3:30 mins on my iTunes! If it’s a few seconds out on the videos below then deal with it. I’m here to boil an egg and get the f**k out of here, not argue seconds!
Second Note: If you’re gonna cook a boiled egg get free range (GOOD) eggs! If you buy battery eggs (BAD) your a dick!
Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up
This song clearly isn’t about eggs because if so ‘I’m DEFINITELY gonna give you up!’
Nicki Minaj – Starships
Like Nicki I wanna goto the ‘Beach Beach’ and get away from the eggs as fast as possible!
System Of A Down – Chop Suey
I don’t think you trust…in…my…chickens period! Get away from me egg!
Beyonce – Check On It
As much as I hate eggs I’m gonna do my best to make sure it’s done well. This will help me ‘check on it’ though out the process. If I’m doing it it’s gonna be done well or not at all!
Bring Me The Horizon – Tell Slater Not To Wash His Dick
When cooking something you hate you need something to get your anger out to and this is it! If this doesn’t cook soon I’m gonna windmill the shit out of it!
So there you have it. Egg’s boiled and sanity is in tact! I hope this helps someone as it has helped me. Have a good day!
No eggs were boiled in the making of this article. I don’t wanna look at them.
