Woe is you. You’re sat at home scanning your favourite street style blogs and lusting after wearing a floaty kimono and some strappy sandals in the middle of a desert whilst watching some obscure band (you’ve probably never heard of) and having the time of your life at Coachella. Reality check, you’re sat in your pyjamas, it’s three in the afternoon and that fourth bowl of cereal didn’t just eat itself, did it?
Never fear, here are a list of 10 things to do to keep your mind off not being at Coachella this year
1. Create a virtual Coachella in the Sims. If life isn’t perfect maybe you can concentrate on creating a utopian dream for your virtual counterpart instead.
2. Start an entrepreneurial car washing business and save those pennies for next year
3. Adorn yourself in every festival fashion item you have to hand, we’re talking flower crowns, denim shorts, tassel tees and overbearing sunnies. If you can’t attend a festival this year, then when else will these closet staples come out of hibernation for the summer?
4. Play Monopoly and become a property tycoon whilst singlehandedly destroying numerous friendships at the same time. That money you amass could pay for your flights next year.
5. Browse your favourite clothing website and add everything you want to your cart. Once it’s full, laugh at the sheer amount of things you would buy with your imaginary money and close the tab. Try not to cry.
6. You could go to the gym, to prepare for that festival body for next year… but… there are a whole 365 days, give or take, to do that in so you can take your time.
7. Put up a tepee in your sitting room and jam out to some Pharell or Lorde in your own time. At least there will be no over priced burritos and the queue for the bathroom won’t be 30 minutes long.
8. Don’t tweet about not being at Coachella, there’s nothing worse than hearing it for the umpteenth time. Keep those tweets off our timeline please, keyboard warrior.
9. Appreciate the full access you have to a warm and refreshing shower. Laugh in the face of the festivalgoers who will be showering with baby wipes and shampoo this week.
10. And similarly relish in the fact that your entire being doesn’t smell like fried onions and stale beer after a long week in the desert sun.
Hopefully some of these tips were helpful in achieving emotional bliss throughout Coachella week, or during any other festival you can’t attend this summer. Don’t worry, there’s always next year.
