I was scrolling through my Facebook timeline minding my own business looking for cat photos to ‘like’, when my mate Roy pops up with a link on chat. Now when Roy posts me a link it’s not the same as when anyone else does. Roy is like a walking encyclopaedia of all things Eurovision and if anyone is going to dig out the gems every year it’s going to be Roy. Excited about what it could be, I clicked and prepared to have my face melted off, and boy did it melt.
Described as a “no-hoper in the German pre-qualification” by Roy, what we had here was just gold. Euro-pop gold. I mean this is just brilliant! It’s so bad! It’s like a low budget Aqua. I can’t actually stop listening to it because it is so good. Never have my shoulders danced so much!
The lyrics, my god the lyrics. “I shake the tree, the tree of my body”, “I swing my ass. My ass has friends on Facebook”. What even is this? Why is this so good? Why does this not have a million views already? It doesn’t even have 1 like!
It’s official, Carolein ‘Dancing Shoulders’ is the best/worst song in the world!
I haven’t even started on the video yet. Why are there clips of her wearing a Nirvana t-shirt while the ‘Dancing Shoulders’ man smokes in the dark? Why is everyone wearing disco balls on their heads? Why did they all scramble for small cupcakes and she ends up with a big one? Why does one of the disco head people have a zimmer frame? How on earth is she driving that car?! So many questions!
“Shake My Boobs! Oh Oh Oh!”
I can’t stop watching this. It’s so bad. I love it!
Germany, if you don’t put this through to the Eurovision finals you are mental!
BRB gonna make my ass a profile on Facebook.