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Our Indie Editor Has Had Enough Of Kim Kardashian’s Arse – An Open-Letter | Feature

Kim Kardashian has exposed her rear-end (and more) in an effort to “break the internet”. Check out our indie editor’s heartfelt open letter to Kim here!

Martin Kim Kardashian Meme

Original Image Source: Paper

In an unprecedented move, Mrs Kim Kardashian has plastered her arse all over the internet. Personally I think it’s a pointless endeavor that only serves to reinforce sexist expectations of women, but what do I know eh? I also don’t get why she’s so adamant about “breaking the internet”, has another of her sex tapes leaked or something?

Being the nice person I am, I decided to write an open letter to Kim (and her arse) in an effort to teach her the error of her ways!

Dear Kim Kardashian (Or is it West now?),

I’m writing this letter with the utmost of respect.

While I’m not entirely sure what it is you do, bar being some sort of reality TV star with supposedly ample assets (isn’t that down to opinion really?), I’m sure what you do leaves a positive impression on the future of humanity.

So with your history of furthering humanity in terms of morality, ethics and culture, I found it very disappointing when I found your rear end filling up seemingly every internet site I use.

I’m aware many admire your bottom for it’s density and round shape. In fact legend has it that it’s so otherworldly that scientists are trying to launch a probe onto it to find out if it holds the key to human life. So yeah, money well spent!

However, we all have arses! As the book ‘Everyone Poops!’ (get your minder/nanny to read it to you, Kanye will love it) details, everyone has an arse which they defecate from. As such the main purpose of an arse is something to excrete from (that and a happy zone on birthdays and anniversaries).

I’m rambling now, so I’ll get to the point. I was wondering whether your defecation is different to other human beings, if not then why do I have to view your gluteus maximus to the degree I have suffered lately?

Also, from studying said photo’s, I realise that your bottle of Champagne is overly frothy, if you just set it down before opening, this issue could be avoided.

So in summary, we know you have an arse. If you’d be so kind to put it away that would be appreciated!

All The Best!

Martin

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